New experience of life

Once a close college classmate commented,"you don't understand girls". Yes, she is right. After distancing females so many years when is someone's most important growth period, what I know about the generality of woman is indeed very less. As to behaviors of most girls around, I don't know them and also have no interest at all.

These days, I become a little bit "civilized" for my love experience of a short period. I have felt and been told some typical female psychology and moves, which enhances my previously short understanding of girls throughout the growing time since I was always standing in the distance to watch them or reading them on paper.

Apart from the above, I get to know something more about a cultural adult's sufference for their wits' temporary ending during social life which I could not believe before as a college student. I took it for granted that if someone suffers for that, that's because they are incapable.

Looking back, I am now not sure if my past opinion is wrong or my present standard is too low. But, as an experience, it's an important feeling I should cherish. After all, it's all about life.

Hug perspective tomorrow by looking back

I expect of liberation, liberation of mind and moves.

I don't know when I lose my thorny tempered personality. A year ago while I was a college student, was not I a liberal with the right and nerve to criticize everything or people as I think they are somewhere unproper? At that time, I lonely enjoyed the pleasure of such memorable free speech and exertion of sufficiency, with no any realistic restrictions. I did not need to care about others' criticism or isolation. Following my heart, I once was so much a cool hedonist though miserable in my heart.

But, now how much have I changed？ What growth brings to me is not just my barely rising to the occasions, but also loss of some of my simple nature and richful ideal mind. I don't know whether it deserves or not. I am not sure if I make progress on my way of life. What I am clear of is I should be a follower with the ongoing time and life. I will not be a lamster by the principle of time and space. It's inevitable for everyone to move forward. I am not an exceptional. But I am wondering if I can make some differences which is what I aim at and boost as a dream since my college.

Comparing to the past, I have changed a lot, including my age, state of mind and status. I am a year older and become a little bit polished. I have experienced the bittersweet two people's world while I was not as hot in my heart as others. However, there are something of my inner self that does not change at all. I still perform as a lonely soul though I am not the single one. And I still embraces my past dream and belief I have never given up.

My present life disappoints me. I am yearning for getting out of the boundaries which restricts too much of my behaviors and imprisons me to breath fresh air. I am thirsty for some relief and satisfaction which may be like the firey coal in the cold winter warming my icey body and heart, and like the spring breeze conveying the pleasing information. It's time to break the oppresive states. I will try in a bigger stance.

Review of the Wenchuan earthquake

I once thought I was strong enough to bear the heartbreaking occasions after many suffering experiences. But I was wrong. Facing the catastrophic tragedy and scenes,I could not help standing it but crying. I cried for the lost lives and the dead city which was once vital, for the moving noble stories coming out at the moment of the natural attack.

Great Man, creating the wonderful land with wisdom and perspiration, in the moment appeared to be so helpless and powerless. Except the usual superficial control and application of the resourses around, it fell head down to the nature with so many lives lost in a moment and once beautiful living land destroyed.

Today is a just year since that destructive day. Now, a lot of people are using their differnent ways to remember the eventful day, mourn for the lost or show sympathy and bring light to the survival of that fatal calamity. I am one of those people. I am writing here for the miserable memories and grievous sufferance.

One indispensable and inevitable part of life should be to taste the bitterness about others or ourselves. After experiencing it, except for some heart darkened ghosts or perverts, most people will understand more about themselves and life. They will not only cherish the moments of their being alive, they will aso be glad and generous to bring attentiveness and light to others, especially those on sufferance.

Don't trust someone who can not dare to see you in your eyes.

Sometimes, people get together for understanding each other, while they part with each other mainly for further understanding. Though the result is disgusting, it's a reasonable and inevitable ending.

We need something comforting. To some acquaintances of us, We will start to respect them or more if we hear their private stories of noble spirit. And then possibly we will show positive response and lean closely from heart to them. However, some time later, we disappointingly and slowly find out the background for believing them is precarious. We start to suspect. We suspect of the stories we have been told and compare them to what we have seen and heard about them. Finally and shockingly, we realize more and more clearly that we have been "comforted or even pleased" by some well compiled fake stories, and for which we even disclosed many of our own experiences not safe to tell others.

What will we do for the relationship built-up? In my mind, to any rational and upright people with no deep personal involvement with such a liar, it's right to abandon the superficially pleasing past with him. We can not trust someone who cheated us with good sounding scam from scatch. Otherwise, we are to risk our basic principle and (further) private secrecy. After going through such cases, our heart may become a little bit hardened. The vualuable experience we can and should learn is to be prudent at someone with noble stories and show your respect after you make sure the stories are true. Cheers to those realizing the fact to be cheated and pity for those losing their own "true stories and private views". Alas.

Stuff about one of my old classmate

Personally, I am not an easy going man. To some peers around me,especially those I acquainted with before graduation, chances are I will bawl at them if their words or behaviors seem unproper in my eyes. Or sometimes, I will become silent suddenly before them to show my disagreement and uncooperation with them. But to me, those people mean something. That's why I behave like that. Though my such attitude in some way embarrass them or get them hurt, I believe what I do is good for them. So I barely regret about what I have done.

Since I got out of college, I feel less and less people could be deemed as friends. Psychologically, I refuse to make new ones. Most people around nowadays are diappointing for their low taste and poor lifestyle though possibly I disappoint them too. Sometimes, I am more prone to missing the old friends and the times with them. I still remember the words in the books of a famous writer I adore very much which reads No filling up for lost old friends and making new friends. Those words just fit me and my true state of mind.

I yearn for my old friends and more especially while I feel disappointed with the new neighboring acquaintances. To them, I have also never stopped caring about their present situation. Those days, the outcome for the Graduate Entrence Examination was publicized. I could not help connecting with one of my high school classmates who is one of the closet friends to me. Alas, his marks are not high enough though still has some chance to attend the interview test. But, his prospect is far less optimistic. That's what I worry about most for him.

He once cheated one examination and caught at the scene. Pitifully, he paid serious price for that and was deprived of the graduation credential, which is a heavy blow for any of us colleage students. It has directly influenced his employment and future. He has tried hard to get our of the shame and compensate the qualification loss through passing the GEE. But he lacked of luck. His paper test turned out to be not ideal. And now he should face up to another significant pressure which is thrown on his back by his family.

In the countryside, most families are burdenful. His family is just one of them. Economical consideration plus the traditional concept that it's the right choice for an adult to marry but to study, he was requested by his parents to abort further education and convert to work and make up his own family. He is an obedient son and cares about his parents very much. But to give up his present dream is really suffering and cruel. It's hard to make the decision. Standing in the crossroads, which way to choose is a question. But it will be a very tough one.

On this point, it's not proper for anyone else to give him some fine suggestions to help. As a friend, beside some simple things I can offer, I just hope he will have his right choice and everything goes well in the coming days.

A sad day-yesterday 2

For some grammar issues, I tried to confirm them with my appreciating classmate. She had solid background while at college and now is a teacher at a famous training center. Her grammar is certainly much better than mine. She really provided me with very convincing instructions on them. Thanks to her.

Later, she shared one disappointing news that one college teacher familiar to both of us will divorce her husband. It's shocking. Though I lost contact with her after I graduated from college, I have never stopped paying attention to her. She is such charming womman who esily impresses me. She is amiable, strict and sometimes serious. In my mind, she is a qualified teacher with her own persistance of basics and enough knowledge to influence her students. I respect her and totally understand her teaching manner though which sometimes is dissatisfying some poor self righterous students.

Those past days I learned from her are still in my mind. She not only infused me with a lot of useful English knowledge, but also provided me with a lot of chances to test my meself. To implement her research for her doctor degree, I was enquired to help. That's what I was very glad to do. I once told her I was in some way an idealist and would do something for people I respect without realistic carings. I performed just that for her. My appreciation and devotion toward her long surpassed normal respect.

After graduation, I came to my dream city-Shanghai directly and silently. I once tried to forget the past colleage acquaintances. To me, they were just temperary passers-by. When it's time to part with each other, it's no use to fight the trend. The fact is I forgot most. But, to some who once left me deep impressions in my higher education period, I still bear them in my mind. The teacher is one of them. I memorise this attrative teacher, feel the same way toward her unfortunate marriage. Good luck to her.

A sad day-yesterday 1

At noon, I received a phone call from my intimate middle school teacher who now is a graduate at one of the famous universities. He is handsome, learned and with pleasant personality. However, that's not the whole picture why he is so popular in his colleagues and students. To me and others familiar with him, we are more impressed by his young state of mind and graceful behaviors before his intelligence, goodness and responsibility to the society.

His teaching career has been about 20 years since the start of his 19 years old. And during the 20 years, he has helped a lot of people, students and his acquaitances who need help. As one of those people, I am thankful to him, not just because of the knowledge he has implanted to me, but more importantly the excellent spritual merits he impresses us. These 20 years, he has never stopped to follow his heart with no any temporal consideration toward his students and his caring people. For them, he has devoted all his time, energy, knowledge and money and almost everything he can give out. It's noble experience and he is honorable though he just works in a middle school.

20 years past, a lot of things have changed. Among them, there is his age. He has been young and at his prime. But now, that is inexistent any more, though some people still think he is youthful from his appearance. He is always optimistic and good at conforting others. But in his inner heart, he is pessimistic and painful. I think he does have his good expectations for his future though he reasonally knows that's too hard for himself and also reliable others. He is sad. But he normally will press down such moods with his thoughtful wisdom. These days, he was sad after he accidentally glimpsed the age restriction for him to apply for the teacher positions in public middle schools in Hangzhou. He was hurt seriously. His worry toward his age was doubled for that.

He is miserable. And the pressure he bears is depriving of his forbearance and confidence.I sympathise for him. I want to do something. ButI can not. I could just wish, and wish him to graduate soon and his coming road is smooth.

Progress on translation

These two days, I was engaged in an important task that is to translate a report in English. I completed it yesterday and handed the English version to my manager. As to my translation, though I have found I have made some progress on it. But I know by strict standards as a yardstick to measure English professionals, I still have a long way to go to reach the native level.

This morning, my nice manager pionted out my weakness on the translation. In his words, despite some improper chosen words, "your translation lack of diversity on expressions beside the professional insight into the report style". But the following words were much comforting. "It's not wholely your problem. You know. We have done far more work than what you do. Only in this way, you can reach that level". I totally agree with him on that. I still need to have more experiences on such translations.

"Since you are an English major, I think I should point out your mistakes such like that and push you to move forward". I completely accept. Actually that fits my consistency attitude. I don't care much about others' mind behind their right ideas. Beside their responsible performance and simplicity showing out, waht I care most is their right opinions, from which I know more about myself and where I need to improve.

Keep practicing, learning and moving forward.

Flee with dreams

It's a battle. Not really correct on the whole. It's invisible and without any tangible arms.

I am inevitably involved in the battle which everyone else should participate in their counter parts. The battle is anavoidable though it may be different if I leave my footprints in another place. Comparing to the adversary, I am so dwindled. However, I have tried my best to strive like a real man and keep my requiring dignity. The battle is still on and I could almost anticipate its ending.

But to win is possibly not the best result, since the price I should pay is too tremendous. While I compliment myself in the illusion, I almost hear the words in my mind that I actually lose myself. As a man, I should keep some fundmental basics at all time. It might be unfortunate to fail the battle. But to defeat the opposite at that should be much more unfortunate.

It's more and more clear to me Whereever I am, there is my related battle. And I should not necessarily win it at last. When the battle is not worth for the despicable adversary, to flee may be the best choice. It's not a shame but victorious not just for the future.

There are not just two results during a battle. I have the third. That's to flee from one field, develop another and win.

New vision of English learning

For the sake of my work, I always go to an American restaurant in the night near to West Nanjing road named Malone's- where shanghai expats gather with main purposes to meet potential customers and enlarge my network. However, things go not following my assumation. Instead, my presence there is more about adjusting my usual state of mind and learning English. The long past life background makes me very hard to join the expat community and their gatherings. I need some changes from my inner part. Though my english is not good enough to fully communicate with expats and I am disappointed each time after I return home, I still insist going there regularly, for my future.

Once I met a Swiss guy at Malone's. He works in shanghai as a lawyer in one of the top law offices. Coincidentally, his working place is just beside my company. We talked a lot that time. He introduced his past experiences in different countries which I admire so much. And he told me his interests in different subjects. In his words, "Life is interesting. We can try a lot of things". Quite insightful words! I asked if he has his girlfriend. He said no and gave the reason that it's hard to find out a suitable one. On this point, we have a lot of ideas in common. And the following meet was quite pleasant, though we were all in heavy mood.

That's a memorable experience also for his language capability. He can speak 5 languages and is interested in more! Gosh! How I adore him. To me, it appears so hard to master the new language English which is said to be the easiest one to learn among forerign languages for us. Whenever I think of that, I feel striked and also motivated. I can learn English well and should remember the striking words that life is interesting and the fact we can speak not just 2 languages.

It's my goal to grasp English. And I never give up studying it though sometimes I take some breaks as many others always do. To find out good ways to achieve that, I never stop practicing my English and consulting English speakers their techniques whenever I have chances. What I have told includes reading original English books, watching English programs/ movies and simulating them, talking to English speakers and trying to write english articles, and so on. Some of the above I have tried some of the above before. And the rest must be useful, I believe.

Yesterday, I Got a chance to talk to a guy who speaks good Chinese and especially English. He pointed out the way our Chinese students are taught to learn English- formal English that's to memorise words one by one. Ir's not a good way. We should learn both formal and slang English through phrases and sentences. Though it seems hard at the beginning, we will be relieved for the result when we will grasp English quicker and our English will be much more idiomatic. Thoughtprovoking words! It's probably the effectivest way for us who have some English knowledge to achieve our goal to be an easy English speaker. I will try it since today on.

Impressions of Shanghainese: part 3

Teacher C is really a teacher before he retired. He is a faumous professor in his field in a key university of China in Shanghai. I met him in the summer of 2006 while I came to Shanghai for the first time to work here as an intern.At that time, he was 73 years old. My acquaintance with him is accidental. After a few honest contacts, he agreed to come to see me by my invitation. And in that hot day, he really dropped by the Xintiandi-my company's event place with sweaty shirts and big beads of sweat in his head, which indeed inspires me and touches my heart.

My essential intercourse with him started from that time. He told me about his capitalistic family background and sufferings after liberation for that. His temporal enagagement was to contribute to philosophy on big topics though he had been teaching technical and engineering related courses before. Our first meet ended in a good atmosphere. And we agreed to further contact each other later. My first impression of him is that he is amiable, easy-going, informative and in good style.

By time and our relationship goes, I know he is practical obviously, much more practical than I can stand. I visited him several times all together. Each time, I was imposed on many deep ideas insightful into life and society. He kept talking for few hours himself. I had few chance to cut in and could feel no existance of myself. His thoughtful points and broader vision than what I could imagine at that time flied over me. Actually, I was not understanding them fully at that moment. However, now I seem to get them across with a lot of realistic social experiences and increasing cultural knowledge. He is wise and good at threading topics out in simple words from their big side with missing their trivial facts.

He spent most of his time infusing me his research outcome on practical marriage and life road. And I was listening to him almost all the time with a few simple reply to his questions he asked me. From the talks between us, I really learned a lot from him especially theoretical knoledges about such aspects which are tested to be true after I entered my society. However, in his words, his efforts and beneficial classes are not free. I need to do something to thank for him and to continue to learn from him.

He is belonging to senior people at his real age. However, his state of mind is still young. He wants to pick up a companion who can go over his rest life with him and asks me to help for exchange. Since his future life is much more spiritual than physical, much more cultural than materialistic, he puts quite strict standards on suitable partner choices. In his words, the partner should be young, beautiful, kind, considerate and no more than 35 years old with no heavy burden or too much family worries. Actually it's best for a choice to be single at her thirties. She also should have potential to grow under his instructions. Moreover, the partner should perform like a wife to take care of him but as the status of an Ayi which means she has no right to share his heritages after he dies.

To find out a suitable one is really not an easy thing. 3 years more past, according to what I know, he still does not have such people to live with. I pity for him and hope he could "succeed" soon. Life is realistic, and why are not our standards practical?

Impressions of Shanghainese: part 2

Teacher B is a retiring female public servant in Huangpu district. According to her imposing self introduction, she had served the business part and has wonderful past and experiences. Since she has cancer, she has to leave her post before her required serving time. For that serious illness, she had been diagnosed to only have a few months to live. The hospital ever suggested her to enjoy her rest time of life, which once frustrated her. However, late, She learned Qi Gong accidentally( one old Chinese superstitious Martial art which is said to have some magical effects) and outlived the forecast time of the hospital. She therefore braged to me she would have died long before if she has no blessings of the God and practices Qi Gong.

She is so talkative and has too many things to disclose to her listener. When I stood in front of her, it's almost all her personal talk show. She closely spread her family background and her glowing past. Her husband is said to be unreadable sometimes, because he always restricts her "impressive" interaction with her strange friends. She went on talking about her contribution to the Shanghai municipality. Our first meet was out of her house when I was searching objective houses. To demonstrate me some prooves, she asked me to wait and returned to fetch some letters that the relative government offices replied to her for her feedback of problems she has ever seen or met. She probably will be a good teacher at school if she tries. Her patience and staidness are really what a qualified teacher is required.

She turned her tune and continued her next topic, without caring about my implications that I had to deal with some of my personal things. To show my attention and respect, I was miserably hung there. She listed out her contact with a French guy whose rental house is just beside. The guy was said to like to talk to her since she is one of the less kind people who could speak French unbelievably. He had no good experience in China and would leave soon. However, to memorise his acquaintance with her, he decided to send Teacher B an important gift. Following the etiquette that courtesy demands reciprocity, she also gave out something in the bottom of her value box. It is the silver badge of one of the time-honored brand in Huangpu district. It's very very precious.

We went on with our talk. She moved to narrate her disgust toward one of her neighbor living in the upstairs. The landlord rented his house to several girls who engage in special escort services. Actually, people in Teacher B's age is essentially tired of such profession doers. And for their disturbing noises every night about their flushing services, it is untolerable for Teacher B any more and time to do something to compell these prostitutes out there. On this point, She dialed 110 several times. Her efforts really worked. These callets left away. She succeeded.......

In order to find suitable place to live, I contacted her several days later after our first meet. I felt some changes of her this time. She was originally acommodating and careless of reward. When I had asked for her help to recommend me rental residency choices, she quickly agreed happily. But this time she conveyed her unwillingness and expecting difficulties on fulfilling that. Meanwhile, She enquired if she could get something back. Yes, she really could. In fact, she indeed came to my company to take some little gadgets. She should very like them.

Impressions of Shanghainese: part 1

To people from other provinces to shanghai, we may hear some about shanghaiese through experienced others during our growth or education. Our initial and general impression of some shanghaiese should be like this: to men, they should be much of some female characters what impress us. While to women, in the opposite way, they may be much of some male characters that we always think of. However, that is not a whole picture and not necessarily true.

As far as I am concerned, I have seen some typical old shanghaieses since I come to this city. From them and my explanation, you may know more about them and the Shanghaiese in your eyes. One fact is when we come to someone who are old than us, we'd better call than a teacher to show our respect instead of Aunt or Uncle. Similarly, i will list the following Shanghaieses out with a common appellation "Teacher" and talk of their stories.

Teacher A is one of my colleagues. He is kind and lives in the prosperous spot of the famous Nanjing road. It's said people living there must have some background. He is one of the examples to prove that. However, he, in his fifties, is out of his in some way bright past and glowing youthhood. Life is real. Though he needs not to worry about basic necessities of life, work is a must to engage himself in. Teacher A really has some good experiences that can be informative to us around and especially youths. From him, I learn what is sales and how the sales companies run when I worked in my present company as an intern in 2007. At that time, he seemed to have good relationship with colleagues and I was very grateful to him. But things change by the time. He is not popular again now to colleagues in his level and also to managers.

He is disgusted especially for his "outspokenness" and priggishness. He is easy to speak a lot of bald-faced words to female colleagues. Though he is disliked for that, he takes no step to convert the fact other than complaining of the other colleagues. Oh, poor guy. He always splurges he is right at this or that. However, he should know there is really somewhere of himself that need to improve for good relationship. In addition, his another representive personality such as people who get permanant residence permit in big city like Shanghai is canny or in other words selfish. He can accept others' offerings while being together. But, his response to that is even the pitch that every employee is not easy to survive and it's not good to waste money. You may agree with him on every word from him on his comment. But it's hard to accept his overall argument.

To me, his striking weakness is up to his self-righteousness. One ridiculous point of his is he can see through every move of others. He would rather draws near to someone in bad quality who always gives him some offerings. I always doubt about people why they are so easy to confuse good and bad. To people who have passed their middle age, I don't think they lack of fundmental moral sense.Is that just because of some small boons and sexual attraction? Unbelievable.

Paid price for improvement

I have stayed in Shanghai for about 1 year including my three internships during university. Why do I choose and come to Shanghai? I do not have specific and clear explanation. I think it is just a dream of a countryside boy from his childhood though he does not really know at that time where shanghai is and what on earth the city attracts him.

I was told before competition in shanghai is much fierce. It’s true. With so many talented people and high-rises around, this business and money driven place is not a haven easy to survive. Life is tough. I never expect my life in this hot soil comfortable and at ease, especially at the beginning of my realistic social life. Such psychological preparation accompanies my desire to devote myself to the society I look forward to, which makes me much easy to adapt myself here.

Work is new but refreshing. Sometimes I have to confront criticism for inadequate performance and a lot of tiresome things I need to learn. As a man, I also feel disappointed in those occasions in terms of emotional. However, I know frustration and even complaint are of no use at all and sometimes make things worse. So I just take them the other way. They are good times to improve and learn.

For us junior employments, the price for improvement includes working much hard, keeping modest, caring little for personal gains, and sometimes admitting mistakes part of which we have not made. It seems to be slavish for us. But I think it’s wise to pay the price.

My lovest two English poems

To. W. P.

With you a part of me has passed away;
For in the peopled forest of my mind
A tree made leafless by this wintry wind
Shall never don again its green array.
Chapel and fireside, country road and bay
Have something of their friendliness resigned
Another, if I would, I could not find,
And I am grown much older in a day.
But yet I treasure in my memory
Your gift of charity and young heart’s ease,
And the dear honour of your amity
For these once mine, my life is rich with these.
And I scarce know which part may greater be,
What I keep of you, or you rob from me.

-----George Santayana



When You are Old

WHEN you are old and gray and full of sleep
And nodding by the fire, take down this book,
And slowly read, and dream of the soft look
Your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep;

How many loved your moments of glad grace,
And loved your beauty with love false or true;
But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,
And loved the sorrows of your changing face.

And bending down beside the glowing bars,
Murmur, a little sadly, how love fled
And paced upon the mountains overhead,
And hid his face amid a crowd of stars.

---------William Butler Yeats

Independence comes

How far is the road to be Independent of parents? I use more than 20 years to get the answer. To be Independent means not just to get away from parents’ supervision and restrictions. More importantly, it stands for the time to relieve burden of a family besides other significances.

I can still recall the occasions I was told about the life pattern of my counterparts in western countries in my childhood. It’s said they will start their independent time when they are 18 years old. Then they will walk on their own way to the future without their parents’ close caring and financial support. Such style is what I admire so much for a long time. I have dreamed urgently in the past to get rid of load I lead to my family. And now I finally accomplish my first step.

I have to admit it’s quite a long time to have this day come. My 18 year-old has passed away for several years. However, better late then never. I welcome the come independence. And I will continue to move forward with it.

Expectations of my 2009

I promise to make some differences in 2009. It’s the time after I graduate from university for about a year and I should achieve something out.

I have read and watched many of my predecessors’ common and characterless lifelines which I can not stand. It’s cruel to follow their patterns. My knowledge and experiences tell me a goal should be obtained as early as possible. Otherwise, ruthless time will torture my determination and patience, let alone my other worries emerging and even increasing by my age. Thus, I need to do something urgently this year.

In the past, I was an English major. I would rather forget it. It’s embarrassing to tell it out that my English sucks indeed. How I hope I could have excellent English! But now I have to take time to further study it. Being proficient in English is one of my expectations in 2009. I should take every time and way to turn it into reality. No excuse for my less improvement in English anymore. Instead, I should be grateful that I still have time and chance to make English up.

Moreover, I will make big progress on my public performance. Though sometimes I still lack confidence to give a speech in public and worry about loss of face if I behave poorly, I should be bold enough to take my trial. Only in this way, I can avoid my further poor public performance and possible loss of face. It’s a psychological barrier I should get out of. In the long run, the ability to perform well in public is a necessity for a successful career. I certainly need it. Just like what CEO said, many chances are grasped by ourselves on the fact that opportunities knocks rare on the door. I should strive for more chances to practice myself whenever I could.

Colored freedom and democracy

As to us who have attended higher education, we probably understand more about freedom and democracy than others. During our student age, we even always indulge in the rights of our freedom and democracy on many unusual cases. You will understand what I am talking about. However, to most of us, except the rarely few peculiars, can we insist on our past free behavior after involving ourselves more in the regular society? You may have the same answer as I have.

Sometimes, I hear some of my close friends complaining of their unwillingly giving up in the work place and social occasions. How I understand their situation and moods. I am not an exception and I guess all of us may have similar story during our growth. But, whether we should choose to react oppositely or yield a little to the situation, I am prone to the latter. Of course, that opinion is just for us who have already started our realistic society life. To some extent, our higher education background is just a fundamental preparation process for our future life in the society. In university, we should not just splurge our freedom and democracy; the more important thing may be to understand the rules of society spiritually.

The above is certainly not my whole point. I want to write about colored freedom and democracy. We know, people are categorized as white and colored. And I think the partition is not just limited to those concrete and live. Abstract things also have colors, such as today’s topic freedom and democracy.

As common human rights, freedom and democracy are like a beacon blazing a great deal of people and may be dreamed of by many more. However, the disappointing fact is we hardly enjoy them without barriers especially after we enter the society. As colored people are discriminated sometimes, freedom and democracy are barely welcome and respected on many working places and other social occasions. That’s the rule of the society and exists in almost all industries. We are expected and in some way made to bow. That’s the truth of life.

Memory of 2008

Too many big issues are recorded in history of the unquiet and remarkable 2008. As a Chinese, things happening in China catch me more in my eyes. Man-made disasters like train collision, Tibetan riot and the Olympic torch relay disturbed shocked me and stimulated nerves of many of us Chinese. We are angry and feel unprecedented unity in our mind toward the outside of the world. Though the nature causing calamities add pain in our chest, our solidarity and morale increase facing problems from the domestic and abroad. In the ongoing challenging time, we finally meet the successful Olympics in Beijing. It’s my first time to sense glory of a whole nation.

The year of 2008 never lacks of striking happenings. And I don’t mean to mention much more about them here. As an individual, I would more like to stress my personal experiences during the year when I look back. Personally, 2008 is important and worth to remember and conclude. I, from a college student who finally finished his school education, stepped into the realistic society to take my chance and anneal myself following the regular principle. It’s the time I have dreamed for many years. For it, I have sometimes even missed the point what I need to engage in. However, entering the society at last implies many required changes. In the work days, I made mistakes and progress, adjusted much of my original concepts to the requirement of work and procedures. Change is always termed as good. I wish my changes should also be that as well.

Regretfully and honestly speaking, I did not give much out in the eventful 2008. And my harvest on desk did not meet my expectation, either. To me, my diction to exculpate myself is the 2008 is more of a silent process. During it, I cooled myself down to follow the way of the world, adjusted to follow the social rules, and made preparation for the coming burst-out. It will be a long waiting with thick accumulation to meet it. 2008 is already past. Let’s send it away solemnly and jump upon the new time with brand new stance. Now, 2009 is right upon us. Regarding to the hopeful new year, we all must have many great expectations to look forward to. I believe by our efforts under determination and persistence, we will be really something by the end of 2009. To you aiming big changes on yourselves, let’s strive for the good future together.

The victorious red flag is beckoning us with welcome in the front.

Prelude

It's a special time and trial when I start to carry on the new and special. How do I feel now pressing the keyboard and beginning my blogging voyage? I am now surprised, excited and more comforted.

For a long time, I have thought of myself and also termed by part of people knowing me as older that my real age. Honestly, such experience accompanies with me since I have my memory. In my mind, I have barely enjoyed the "wonderful" youth times and pleasures like others. My past is grey and mostly covered in clouds. How pathetic!

As we know, the old is often considered conservative and hard to accept new things. I in some way am similar to those people. As a young adult, I don't share the same interest and topics with peers but in much time advocate wrinkly or above their age. Facing to the new technologies especially IT and internet, little is gained though I take some trials, Blogging is one of the examples.

While I was in the University, many classmates learned to make a lot of improvement on blogging beside others by internet. However, to me, it appeared too new to study. By the end of my school education, I have not known what it's about though I heard it's useful and easy to use. Even from others' casual words in front of me, I still did not get clear of what blogging is.

Those days, I tried to learn blogging again under request of a good friend. It seemed much easier than before this time, part of which may be because of his guidance. And I indeed felt its convenience and attractiveness in depth. Thus, I could not wait any longer to open my own blog and enjoy it.

From today on, I am in essence a member of bloggers. I know trial will never be late. But I do hope it's not too far behind for me to follow up the trend. Instead of striving not to be left behind, I hope this move of mine is just to meet the trend head on.

In the following days, I will leave my footprints here and share the memorable moments with ideas, good or bad, bitter and sweet. You may also have similar experiences and opinions. Your joining in my blog will be warmly welcome and received.