Don't trust someone who can not dare to see you in your eyes.

Sometimes, people get together for understanding each other, while they part with each other mainly for further understanding. Though the result is disgusting, it's a reasonable and inevitable ending.

We need something comforting. To some acquaintances of us, We will start to respect them or more if we hear their private stories of noble spirit. And then possibly we will show positive response and lean closely from heart to them. However, some time later, we disappointingly and slowly find out the background for believing them is precarious. We start to suspect. We suspect of the stories we have been told and compare them to what we have seen and heard about them. Finally and shockingly, we realize more and more clearly that we have been "comforted or even pleased" by some well compiled fake stories, and for which we even disclosed many of our own experiences not safe to tell others.

What will we do for the relationship built-up? In my mind, to any rational and upright people with no deep personal involvement with such a liar, it's right to abandon the superficially pleasing past with him. We can not trust someone who cheated us with good sounding scam from scatch. Otherwise, we are to risk our basic principle and (further) private secrecy. After going through such cases, our heart may become a little bit hardened. The vualuable experience we can and should learn is to be prudent at someone with noble stories and show your respect after you make sure the stories are true. Cheers to those realizing the fact to be cheated and pity for those losing their own "true stories and private views". Alas.

Stuff about one of my old classmate

Personally, I am not an easy going man. To some peers around me,especially those I acquainted with before graduation, chances are I will bawl at them if their words or behaviors seem unproper in my eyes. Or sometimes, I will become silent suddenly before them to show my disagreement and uncooperation with them. But to me, those people mean something. That's why I behave like that. Though my such attitude in some way embarrass them or get them hurt, I believe what I do is good for them. So I barely regret about what I have done.

Since I got out of college, I feel less and less people could be deemed as friends. Psychologically, I refuse to make new ones. Most people around nowadays are diappointing for their low taste and poor lifestyle though possibly I disappoint them too. Sometimes, I am more prone to missing the old friends and the times with them. I still remember the words in the books of a famous writer I adore very much which reads No filling up for lost old friends and making new friends. Those words just fit me and my true state of mind.

I yearn for my old friends and more especially while I feel disappointed with the new neighboring acquaintances. To them, I have also never stopped caring about their present situation. Those days, the outcome for the Graduate Entrence Examination was publicized. I could not help connecting with one of my high school classmates who is one of the closet friends to me. Alas, his marks are not high enough though still has some chance to attend the interview test. But, his prospect is far less optimistic. That's what I worry about most for him.

He once cheated one examination and caught at the scene. Pitifully, he paid serious price for that and was deprived of the graduation credential, which is a heavy blow for any of us colleage students. It has directly influenced his employment and future. He has tried hard to get our of the shame and compensate the qualification loss through passing the GEE. But he lacked of luck. His paper test turned out to be not ideal. And now he should face up to another significant pressure which is thrown on his back by his family.

In the countryside, most families are burdenful. His family is just one of them. Economical consideration plus the traditional concept that it's the right choice for an adult to marry but to study, he was requested by his parents to abort further education and convert to work and make up his own family. He is an obedient son and cares about his parents very much. But to give up his present dream is really suffering and cruel. It's hard to make the decision. Standing in the crossroads, which way to choose is a question. But it will be a very tough one.

On this point, it's not proper for anyone else to give him some fine suggestions to help. As a friend, beside some simple things I can offer, I just hope he will have his right choice and everything goes well in the coming days.

A sad day-yesterday 2

For some grammar issues, I tried to confirm them with my appreciating classmate. She had solid background while at college and now is a teacher at a famous training center. Her grammar is certainly much better than mine. She really provided me with very convincing instructions on them. Thanks to her.

Later, she shared one disappointing news that one college teacher familiar to both of us will divorce her husband. It's shocking. Though I lost contact with her after I graduated from college, I have never stopped paying attention to her. She is such charming womman who esily impresses me. She is amiable, strict and sometimes serious. In my mind, she is a qualified teacher with her own persistance of basics and enough knowledge to influence her students. I respect her and totally understand her teaching manner though which sometimes is dissatisfying some poor self righterous students.

Those past days I learned from her are still in my mind. She not only infused me with a lot of useful English knowledge, but also provided me with a lot of chances to test my meself. To implement her research for her doctor degree, I was enquired to help. That's what I was very glad to do. I once told her I was in some way an idealist and would do something for people I respect without realistic carings. I performed just that for her. My appreciation and devotion toward her long surpassed normal respect.

After graduation, I came to my dream city-Shanghai directly and silently. I once tried to forget the past colleage acquaintances. To me, they were just temperary passers-by. When it's time to part with each other, it's no use to fight the trend. The fact is I forgot most. But, to some who once left me deep impressions in my higher education period, I still bear them in my mind. The teacher is one of them. I memorise this attrative teacher, feel the same way toward her unfortunate marriage. Good luck to her.

A sad day-yesterday 1

At noon, I received a phone call from my intimate middle school teacher who now is a graduate at one of the famous universities. He is handsome, learned and with pleasant personality. However, that's not the whole picture why he is so popular in his colleagues and students. To me and others familiar with him, we are more impressed by his young state of mind and graceful behaviors before his intelligence, goodness and responsibility to the society.

His teaching career has been about 20 years since the start of his 19 years old. And during the 20 years, he has helped a lot of people, students and his acquaitances who need help. As one of those people, I am thankful to him, not just because of the knowledge he has implanted to me, but more importantly the excellent spritual merits he impresses us. These 20 years, he has never stopped to follow his heart with no any temporal consideration toward his students and his caring people. For them, he has devoted all his time, energy, knowledge and money and almost everything he can give out. It's noble experience and he is honorable though he just works in a middle school.

20 years past, a lot of things have changed. Among them, there is his age. He has been young and at his prime. But now, that is inexistent any more, though some people still think he is youthful from his appearance. He is always optimistic and good at conforting others. But in his inner heart, he is pessimistic and painful. I think he does have his good expectations for his future though he reasonally knows that's too hard for himself and also reliable others. He is sad. But he normally will press down such moods with his thoughtful wisdom. These days, he was sad after he accidentally glimpsed the age restriction for him to apply for the teacher positions in public middle schools in Hangzhou. He was hurt seriously. His worry toward his age was doubled for that.

He is miserable. And the pressure he bears is depriving of his forbearance and confidence.I sympathise for him. I want to do something. ButI can not. I could just wish, and wish him to graduate soon and his coming road is smooth.

Progress on translation

These two days, I was engaged in an important task that is to translate a report in English. I completed it yesterday and handed the English version to my manager. As to my translation, though I have found I have made some progress on it. But I know by strict standards as a yardstick to measure English professionals, I still have a long way to go to reach the native level.

This morning, my nice manager pionted out my weakness on the translation. In his words, despite some improper chosen words, "your translation lack of diversity on expressions beside the professional insight into the report style". But the following words were much comforting. "It's not wholely your problem. You know. We have done far more work than what you do. Only in this way, you can reach that level". I totally agree with him on that. I still need to have more experiences on such translations.

"Since you are an English major, I think I should point out your mistakes such like that and push you to move forward". I completely accept. Actually that fits my consistency attitude. I don't care much about others' mind behind their right ideas. Beside their responsible performance and simplicity showing out, waht I care most is their right opinions, from which I know more about myself and where I need to improve.

Keep practicing, learning and moving forward.

Flee with dreams

It's a battle. Not really correct on the whole. It's invisible and without any tangible arms.

I am inevitably involved in the battle which everyone else should participate in their counter parts. The battle is anavoidable though it may be different if I leave my footprints in another place. Comparing to the adversary, I am so dwindled. However, I have tried my best to strive like a real man and keep my requiring dignity. The battle is still on and I could almost anticipate its ending.

But to win is possibly not the best result, since the price I should pay is too tremendous. While I compliment myself in the illusion, I almost hear the words in my mind that I actually lose myself. As a man, I should keep some fundmental basics at all time. It might be unfortunate to fail the battle. But to defeat the opposite at that should be much more unfortunate.

It's more and more clear to me Whereever I am, there is my related battle. And I should not necessarily win it at last. When the battle is not worth for the despicable adversary, to flee may be the best choice. It's not a shame but victorious not just for the future.

There are not just two results during a battle. I have the third. That's to flee from one field, develop another and win.

New vision of English learning

For the sake of my work, I always go to an American restaurant in the night near to West Nanjing road named Malone's- where shanghai expats gather with main purposes to meet potential customers and enlarge my network. However, things go not following my assumation. Instead, my presence there is more about adjusting my usual state of mind and learning English. The long past life background makes me very hard to join the expat community and their gatherings. I need some changes from my inner part. Though my english is not good enough to fully communicate with expats and I am disappointed each time after I return home, I still insist going there regularly, for my future.

Once I met a Swiss guy at Malone's. He works in shanghai as a lawyer in one of the top law offices. Coincidentally, his working place is just beside my company. We talked a lot that time. He introduced his past experiences in different countries which I admire so much. And he told me his interests in different subjects. In his words, "Life is interesting. We can try a lot of things". Quite insightful words! I asked if he has his girlfriend. He said no and gave the reason that it's hard to find out a suitable one. On this point, we have a lot of ideas in common. And the following meet was quite pleasant, though we were all in heavy mood.

That's a memorable experience also for his language capability. He can speak 5 languages and is interested in more! Gosh! How I adore him. To me, it appears so hard to master the new language English which is said to be the easiest one to learn among forerign languages for us. Whenever I think of that, I feel striked and also motivated. I can learn English well and should remember the striking words that life is interesting and the fact we can speak not just 2 languages.

It's my goal to grasp English. And I never give up studying it though sometimes I take some breaks as many others always do. To find out good ways to achieve that, I never stop practicing my English and consulting English speakers their techniques whenever I have chances. What I have told includes reading original English books, watching English programs/ movies and simulating them, talking to English speakers and trying to write english articles, and so on. Some of the above I have tried some of the above before. And the rest must be useful, I believe.

Yesterday, I Got a chance to talk to a guy who speaks good Chinese and especially English. He pointed out the way our Chinese students are taught to learn English- formal English that's to memorise words one by one. Ir's not a good way. We should learn both formal and slang English through phrases and sentences. Though it seems hard at the beginning, we will be relieved for the result when we will grasp English quicker and our English will be much more idiomatic. Thoughtprovoking words! It's probably the effectivest way for us who have some English knowledge to achieve our goal to be an easy English speaker. I will try it since today on.